Disguises
by DeMoKa
Summary: Inara can't hide her feelings from the recipient, it's just not possible. RiverInara AU


**River might not seem very "Rivery" but I just couldn't get her to flow through into this fic. However, I can say that it's okay for a one time read. **

'River? Where'd she go this time?' wondered Simon out loud.

In her hiding place, in the shadows of the spacious Serenity, River giggled to herself. She loved playing games with Simon, especially mind games. She had the vastly helpful knowledge of every little nook and cranny of Serenity. River loved the freedom and Serenity granted her and she praised Serenity for it every day as she woke up. At this moment in time she stroked the ship, 'He can't find me! And that's because you are such a great friend! Thank you!'

'I shall reveal all that eludes him now,' she mutters to Serenity, suddenly bored.

She leapt out at Simon, whose immediate reaction is to cower. 'River! What are you doing jumping out and around the the place!' demanded Simon.

River gave him a grin, 'What you don't know can't hurt you and what's under the bed only hurts if you stare at it for too long.'

Simon sighed, 'Yeah, okay. Well, just be careful alright?'

'Being full of care is what you do for another that you love. I was just disguising myself, disguises make you safer,' replied River.

Simon nodded wearily, taking a hold of his sister's hand and leading her to the infirmary for another dose of medication, 'I'm sorry River. I know you don't like it, but it's going to help you a little.'

River made a face, she understood that Simon was trying to help, but he was ever so boring sometimes.

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Inara was finishing her bathing as a knock sounded, 'Come on in Kaylee.'

The amazed expression of the brilliant mechanic poked out form behind the door, 'How'd you know it was me, 'Nara?'

'I just do, besides, Mal never knocks,' replied Inara.

She stood up and towelled herself dry. She gestured for Kaylee to sit down. Kaylee shook her head and waved her hands about, 'No! I don't want to dirty your pretty things!'

Inara giggled, 'Did you want me to brush your hair, Mei Mei?'

'Yes please!' Kaylee nodded enthusiastically.

Inara dressed and drew a fine brush from a box with an intricate design of a chinese dragon. Kaylee sat on the floor and Inara kneeled behind her. Kaylee closed her eyes and drifted off in her thoughts of her as Inara. Inara smiled, delighted at Kaylee's love of a simple pleasure. A rhythm of knocks entered their ears.

Inara looked up at the door, 'You may come in.'

No one appeared. She shrugged and returned to brushing Kaylee's hair. She gasped as she felt a smaller body embrace her from behind, 'River!'

'Apologies for interrupting grooming time. The bell has rung and the smell wafts here and there and everywhere,' stated River, not letting go.

Kaylee opened hers questioningly, 'What are you talking about River?'

'It must be lunch time, is that right?' asked Inara.

River nodded, burying her face in Inara's hair. Inara made sure not to flinch, she was poised but very surprised at the younger girl's actions. Inara finished brushing Kaylee's hair and turned her head, amazingly River had fallen asleep. 'River, honey? Wake up please. We must go eat,' Inara murmured.

Kaylee stood up and patted River's head gently. River lifted her head, eyes blinking, 'Oh, is that the time, we must be going.'

She leapt up and left Inara and Kaylee behind. 'I swear she's getting crazier or just plain weird,' commented Kaylee.

She failed to see the expression of anger flit across Inara's features. Inara was well adept at hiding her feelings but she had a momentary lapse of concentration. She was worried about River and Kaylee's comment had be unnecessary. She was actually quite shocked at Kaylee's blatant disregard for River's feelings. Sure she was a little unstable at times, but at no fault of herself. She needed all the support she could get. A delicate young woman required love and care. Something that Simon can no longer provide all by himself. Inara had been noticing River's gradual improvements, even if no one else did. Simon looked out for the clinical improvements, while Inara looked out for her emotional well being. Inara realised that her feelings for the younger woman was quite uncalled for and she would have to suppress her desire. For now she would play the caring big sister.

She and Kaylee went to lunch and found Jayne yelling at River again. Zoe was trying to extricate the girl from Jayne's back.

'Get the gorram off of me!' grumbled Jayne, swinging around.

Zoe grabbed hold of him and Mal plucked River from his back. 'Such lowly thoughts can only assume low intelligence and therefore, I must teach the mule to carry the bag and serve,' River stated to Mal with a very serious tone.

Jayne glared at the young woman, seething, 'What?! What are you talkin' bout girl?'

'I would say that she was insulting you, but in a loving manner, Jayne, ' commented Inara swiftly.

Jayne rolled his eyes as Wash and Zoe stifled a muffle. Shepherd Book just shook his head in exasperation. 'Jayne, let me put it in layman terms; River is trying to tell you that you must serve her, like a donkey to a master,' quipped Wash.

'I'll be no one's ass! Loving, my arse! She ain't capable of it!' exclaimed Jayne, gobbling up his share of lunch.

Simon immediately stood up and growled at Jayne, 'Please take that back.'

However this was not as much of a shock as Inara strode forward and slapped Jayne with all her might, and there was plenty of it. 'I know you are just a guy working for money and cares for his mother, but I didn't think that even you could be so cold hearted,' Inara said coldly, turning abruptly, too upset to eat.

Jayne continued to sit there with shocked expression on his face. River merely cocked her head to one side, 'You've upset her.' Simon went to hug his sister but she sidestepped his embrace and went running after Inara. Mal cleared his throat, 'Let's just eat our lunch and they can come eat when they feel ready. No more talk, that's an order!'

'She's so motherly,' murmured Simon gratefully.

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Inara closed her door, heart beating loudly and she was feeling ever so flushed and frustrated. She stalked over to her bed, lying face down, trying to calm her breathing. She swore out loud as a body leapt on to her bed. She sat up only to look into the wide eyed River, a mere 5 centimetres from her face. 'River, ' she breathed.

River kept looking into Inara's eyes with concern, 'He hurt you. I can't ever forgive him for that. You own my soul.'

Inara widened her own eyes in the straight out confession. 'I don't know what you are talking about,' she stammered, losing her calm Companion's demeanour.

River giggled, 'You may hide in the shadows and your mask in front of the others, but I. I the seer, I see you, I see all and I know all. You can't hide it from me.'

'Hide what?' asked Inara cautiously hoping River was not referring to her indescribable yet blatantly human lusts.

River's playful eyes bore into hers, 'Don't try to disguise your voice with your Companion costume. It doesn't work with me. You own my soul, I know what you think when you see me. I hear your soul calling for mine. It calls and cries at night. Mine does too, but I thought I ought to wait, till now.'

Inara was breathing deeply, trying to take it all in. In this situation, there was barely any "insane" River at all. She gasped as she suddenly realised the meaning of River's last sentence. River was now 19, old enough to make her own decisions without Simon interfering, that is to say, if he believes her capable. 'River, I love Mal,' stated Inara.

'Don't lie, please? It makes your soul an ugly thing and you are far from ugly, you live on the planet of beauty,' replied River seeing right through Inara's deceit.

'No... we can't do this. I mustn't throw away your brother's trust,' breathed Inara.

River wrapped her arms around Inara, 'My Simon is none of your concern, it is I who trusts you with the entire world. There isn't anything that you mustn't do. I would never burden you, your wings would be free and remain unclipped. You'd soar high into the sky and I'd be there right next to you.'

Inara reached behind her to stroke River's hair, the silky strands soft in her hands. River nuzzled Inara's neck and she lightly kissed the crook of Inara's neck. 'Can't hide it, can't disguise it, I love you,' whispered River, decidedly pressing her lips against Inara's.

Inara sighed into the kiss, releasing all her thoughts to the air and space around them. Her heart fluttered like it did back when she was River's age, in the first ever throes of love and attraction. This memory caused her mind to come screeching to a halt. She held River at arm's length, 'No! I can't do this to you, you're too young and you don't know what you are doing!'

River extricated herself from Inara's grasp with a clearly hurt expression, 'I expect that sort of response from everyone else, but not from my Inara.'

She turned abruptly and left Inara's room. Inara felt a sob make its way from the pit of her stomach, up her throat and escaped from her mouth. She'd ruined it and now everyone would know.

'One who so skillfully uses disguises should be a master to recognise others!' exclaimed a voice from behind her, causing her to shriek.

She splayed her hand across her chest, 'River! Don't scare me like that!'

'Fun is fun but never as one, but with one and one makes two. Two is all the difference. You and I, that is the difference. I'm sorry for scaring you. That is something that should never be hidden away, please?' River asked Inara with a serious tone and expression.

Inara realised in her own way, River was trying to ask for her to accept her and whats more, to let the others know. 'Let's just keep it to ourselves for now, is that alright sweetie?' Inara enquired, gently cupping River's face.

River smiled in response as Inara kissed her gently and slowly. 'Anything you wish for, I shall grant,' she replied, wrapping her arms around Inara and kissing her again.

**Review, telling me what I can improve on. Review if you somehow liked it too :)**


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